Saturday, March the 13th
Hi there, my name is Gregory Arthur Kenway the Second. I live in England, 1435. Today I had the adventure of a lifetime, and here’s how it went: So, I was outside doing some stupid chores like weeding the garden, putting seeds down for new plants and picking the apples off the trees. While I was picking an apple another apple fell on my head! I looked down to pick it up but my eye caught something else of attention. A key! Since my family is poor, I decided to sell my key to a buyer.
Nobody wanted to buy my key, so I threw it in my room where it hit the floor. I heard something say “Ouch!” I looked around for the noise and when I turned around to look in a different spot, the key was floating around and it had eyes! It spoke in a ‘mini’ voice:
“Why would you do that!??”
I fainted in fear. I don’t know how long it was, but the key woke me up. I crawled out and screamed, “What kind of dark magic is this!?” The key says, “I’m not dark magic, I was once a legendary king, turned into a key by a witch.”
I say, “What kind of king were you!? King George!? King Edward!?” The key says, “None of those. I was once King Keystern.” And, it hit me – I suddenly realised that this key was a king for four years and I was talking to him!
The key says, “I can unlock any door, that’s why the witch who turned me into a key called me Keystern the Unlocker!” I say, “So if you can unlock any door, you can unlock the gates to the city of the legendary El Dorado!” The key replies, “Yes, I can.”
So I go out the door with Keystern in my hand and head towards Big Bad Bob’s door. Big Bad Bob is a big bad person. If you’re wondering what makes him bad – he has killed and chilled and stolen 30 rounds’ worth of coin from Ye Olde Bank – and his door is sooo secure, nothing can penetrate it, not even a cannon or a trench bucket! (That’s a trebucket).
While I wait for Big Bad Bob to leave his house – he goes to the shops daily – if you’re wondering what he buys at the shops he always buys spinach, carrots and beetroot which he uses to make spinach, carrot and beetroot soup which tastes disgusting! I throw eggs at his house and also check the brick I want to mine, because I know that is the key foundation of his house. But, then Keystern says, “Why would you need to mine that when you have me!?
I ignore Keystern for the time being, and wait for BBB to finally leave his house.
TO BE CONTINUED!
BACKSTORY: King Arthur had a kid and his (whisper) wife bought something super expensive with his money – something he thought was worthless! A bathtub made of a very strong concrete encrusted with – wait for it – RUBIES! King Arthur divorced his wife, and her and her son were thrown out of the castle with only $20.00 (medieval coin) – this child is Gregory!